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While other
comfort-oriented luxury cars switched from body-on-frame rear to
front-wheel-drive, and some further went with V6 engines instead of V8, the
Town Car stuck with its roots. Not only in spirit either, as the Town Car’s
“Panther” platform, shared with the Ford Crown Victoria and Mercury Grand
Marquis, dates back nearly thirty years, making it the longest-running
platform still in production for the US market. It has been revised over the
years, but not enough to change the basic feel of the car for better of for
worse.
It’s generally for the
worse. The Town Car has the requisite soft ride, but it comes at the expense
of a nausea-inducing lack of suspension control both in cornering and in
straight-line driving. The space-inefficient RWD setup cuts down interior
space surprisingly for such a massive vehicle. Its gargantuan mass and
dimensions make it feel ponderous, and overtax its V8 into achieving what is
by far the slowest acceleration in this group while returning gas mileage that
rivals the worst. The mechanically identical Crown Victoria failed to impress
in its IIHS side crash testing, when the test barrier struck the car’s body
above its frame and pushed it into the occupant compartment. In short, suffice
it to say that there is so much that is wrong with the Town Car when judged by
today’s standards for $37,000 automobiles that a complete list of its faults
would make most of the rest of the review redundant.
As noted, the Town Car
has a soft and absorbent ride, but it is too prone to buoyant floaty motions.
Attempts to improve its control have led to a jittery feel on some poor
pavement. It is also one of the least agile passenger cars sold, a victim of
both its size and its suspension tuning. With its slow, lifeless steering,
excessive body roll, and clumsy responses, it inspires about as much
confidence in cornering as Lincoln’s Navigator full-size SUV, which at least
offers the security of stability control. The 4.6-liter V8 offers neither the
power nor the refinement of its competitors; it would struggle to
out-accelerate a 4-cylinder Honda Accord and sounds harsh under hard
acceleration. Fuel consumption has no trouble matching the other V8 models in
this group however, at about 140% of the Accord 4-cylinder’s.
Inside, the Town Car
features large padded chairs that would be more suitable for a living room
than for an automobile. In a living room, it is much easier to get up and
stretch when chairs’ support gives way under you after thirty minutes or so,
and living rooms turn with insufficient force as to require lateral support.
In short, the seats are comfortable enough to sit on briefly, but their
flatness and excessive softness takes its toll in turns and over time. The
front bench seat’s center position is unusable for passengers. The rear seat
offers less leg space than one might expect based on the vehicle’s exterior
dimensions, but the bench’s width and flatness at least makes it reasonably
accommodating for a middle occupant.
 The Town Car has
neither the rich interior materials nor the impeccable panel fit that has come
to be expected in this price range, but the quality is at least consistent and
free of glaring errors. The gauges are small, and the instrument use is
complicated by the navigation system that absorbs the audio functions. The
steering wheel offers controls for the climate control system, audio volume,
and cruise control, but the steering wheel’s spokes are too low for them to be
easily reached. Drivers
have available power-adjustable pedals, which help them sit more comfortably,
but the steering wheel does not offer a telescoping function and is too close.
Visibility is good despite a somewhat small rear window, but the car’s
sizeable front and rear overhangs require extra attention in tight quarters.
The large doors swing out wide and bounce back on their weak checks even on
level ground. The large trunk is long but relatively shallow, making it a
stretch to reach some items in it, and a risk of head injury to get back up.
The Town Car reviewed
here came in at $37,590, and lacks many modern safety, convenience, and luxury
features that are found on the others here. There is no stability control
system, no curtain-style side airbags, no satellite radio system, no
telescoping steering column, no remote start. However, the Ford-exclusive
keypad entry system is a nice feature, as are the power-adjustable pedals with
memory, the automatic-closing trunk, the THX-certified sound system, and the
rear-obstacle detection system. But the others in this group also offer
technological goodies, without leaving out the basics.
Overall, there is no
reason at all to buy a Town Car. It does nothing at all exceptional at its
substantially discounted but still rather high price point, from feature
content to comfort to quality to refinement to safety. This nostalgia boat is
popular with fleets for its combination of luxury and durability, but for the
retail buyer, there is nothing that the Town Car offers to make it worth
nearly its going price.
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